How expensive they are?!

Dear Readers,

Have you ever thought how expensive the word 'I Love You" is? Some of you may and some of you may not. The word 'Love' is a magical word. A word that will turn someone life into happiness or miserable. I never thought before this word will change someone life. Being better or worse! It's like a word where a wizard or witch will use to hypnotize somebody before he/she put a potion into them. Well the result will depend on how good the wizard and witch experienced probably. 😉

So, this is my story about "love". I am a failure. My first love was the biggest failure ever! 😞 However, I tried to move on because my love gone for good. I mean he will has his happily ever after life. That is my prayer for him ever. No! No! He still alive. What he is doing now I probably kept it as a secret! 😉

A few months I lived without him. It was hard but I tried. We've been together almost 8 years and it's gone. Maybe we not meant to be together. You know the reason why it is so hard to move? The person you try to move on calling you back after a few months. Hmm! 😨 I hope for the best and suddenly it comes without news. I really don't know what to do. Either to feel happy or to feel very much happy. 😅

He did contact me back. And the worst is that, I was sick during that time. And it was really fired back. I cried. Really hard. Speechless. Happy? Yes! Shocked? Yes! Missed? Obviously! Love? Confuse! It was a mixed feeling. I cannot describe how happy I was and I couldn't show how much I missed him. It's just I couldn't describe through words. But everything changed! He is so closed yet he is so far to reach. Until now I am stuck. My decision is hanging. I am waiting. Am I stupid? Yes! 😭

Now, it become really hard for me to forget. I try everyday but it will come back. I try to move on but it stays. I am wondering, "Who am I to you?". A question that I asked myself. I did ask him but the answer was shocked! Do both of us still love each other? Do the destiny and fate will be on our side? Or do I have to create my own destiny with him? Or just it is fate that I will not belong to him? I couldn't answer any of these question. Yup! I will be biased to these question. And last I will said he was sent by God to me to test my heart.

To be hurt by the same person is the stupidest thing ever. But in love situation, people do become stupid even I am stupid. 😐 However, what kind of stupid you will become. Human has given a choice by God. Is it to do the same mistake and make it the same result or to learn from the mistake and take the action. The decision will differentiate one choice. To be hurt or to hurt or to be broke or to broken. Sometimes, you win but  actually you lose. Following the current flow? I didn't see the end and I hate when I don't know when it will end.

In the end, I just want him to be happy. There is nothing more to see the smile on your beloved one. With whom he was, as long as he is happy, I am sure now I will be happy too. To whom it may concern, I am okay. Live your life to the fullest. Have a very beautiful family and let me see your smile everyday. You may face difficulties, my prayer is always be with you. If you didn't have anybody and left with nothing, I am ready to help in any situation. You wrong is always forgiven. I love you. "You know where and how to find me."

If I ever find somebody, I will make sure he will take a good care of my heart. And you will always stay in the memories. Part of you will stay forever because you also one of my puzzle world. I learned so much from you. Meeting you was never be a mistake because I never regret that God sent you to me because there is no coincidence in this life. Until then...goodbye! 😊

Love,
The writer.